


Ghosts of the Past

by LockePeter



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 10:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LockePeter/pseuds/LockePeter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To explore strange new worlds. To discover new life, and new civilizations. These were the journeys of the starship Enterprise. Its five year mission....completed. Its crew scattered, and its former captain, the newly minted Admiral James T. Kirk....conflicted.</p><p>This takes place between the end of TOS and Star Trek: The Motion Picture</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts of the Past

James Kirk dreamed, as he so often did, about the journeys he'd undertaken. The strange worlds he and his crew had explored, the many people that they....that he had become close to on his travels.

Kirk was not afraid to admit it, he was something of a...roving man. His tastes lay in the exotic, the unfamiliar, and the many women he'd come across on those travels had certainly fulfilled that. His beautiful trainer on the gladitorial slave-planet, Triskelion. The alien being from another dimension, inhabiting the body of a woman. So many of his romances had begun as plans, to manipulate, to deceive... and yet... Kirk had always found himself strangely captivated. 

Once, he had been married. Nearly had a child, though his memories were hazy on the details. Once he had been in love with a perfect clone. Being close to others, understanding them, what they felt, their needs and pleasures, it was the only way to feel alive.

So many of these women had died. So many left behind. Here Kirk was, a newly promoted admiral...and again, he was alone. 

Strange that he felt no desire to return to any of those worlds. Seek out one of those women who was still alive, still breathing and perhaps still thinking of him. 

Instead, his mind would continually return to a strange handful of moments. Being close to others was the only true way to feel alive, it's clear that was how he felt, it was how he went about his romancing, what fueled his limitless curiosity, but.... 

Spock? His own science officer, his own....trusted friend? Kirk opened his eyes, pushed away the covers, suddenly too close, too hot. He wished for the freedom to rise, as he sometimes did, to walk barefoot while the ship slept and slide into his chair, listening to the humm and purr of his most beautiful lady. He knew what she was feeling, what she was thinking, always. He'd never been closer to any living thing as he had been to the enterprise, except...with the exception of possibly...

But Spock? Impossible. The only source of doubt within him was that moment, that fleeting moment aboard the turbolift. Kirk had panicked, overcome by fear, by insecurity, trapped by the belief that he was losing command of the Enterprise....

And with a single touch, Spock had reached inside him. In an instant, he could FEEL what the vulcan felt, know what he knew, share his certainty, his cool logic. He'd let Kirk's fear, his passion inside him and it had been like...like being with a woman, but... without the need for bodies, for words and lips and proxies to convey feeling, it had been so direct. So unexpected. And so quickly over.

It would not have been professional to admit how many times he'd considered reaching out for that hand again, wished to just for an instant feel that perfect connection. 

Kirk got to his feet, rubbing at his eyes. He'd managed to learn the layout of Starfleet academy again only recently, after five years of the ship he knew inside and out. 

He knew enough to find the living quarters of the science department. Enough to knock on the correct door.

He was greeted with a raised eyebrow.

"Jim? You are aware of the time, I hope." 

Kirk's hand shook, but five years of impulsiveness, of letting his commands be ruled by emotion and instinct managed to take over. 

He took the Vulcan by the wrist, lifted his hand as he'd seen him do on many occasions. Spock's expression remained frozen, but he did not pull away. Kirk put Spock's hand to his own face, and his fingers found their place, whether by instinct or previous consideration, Spock new precisely where to position his fingertips.

They stood, perfectly still, breathing evenly. After a long moment, Spock raised his free hand, pressing the panel beside the door.

The faint pneumatic hiss died, leaving the darkened hallway in silence again.


End file.
